weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
