Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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