I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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