I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
