I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize