Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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