dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
