I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize