Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
