U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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