I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize