i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
