Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He kissed a someone with a penis
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
