i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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