apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
even my farts smell like vagina
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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