It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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