i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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