he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize