They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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