3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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