So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
