do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
