he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
