Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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