I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
