i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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