she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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