look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
