We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
