We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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