508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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