We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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