i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize