I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
