so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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