He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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