it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
