i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize