I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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