he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
