if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
