better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
