So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
