Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize