And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
