I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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