i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
