Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
