And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
