why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So many bounce houses so little time
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
