Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
