Where did you get a picture of my penis
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
we should paint friendship bongs
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