I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
