Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
