idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
