is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
