well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize