the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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