I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
