i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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