But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
