Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
