Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
