Will you blow on my dice?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Actions speak louder than pants.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
