Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
