Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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