Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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