This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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