She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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