im holly from the hills drunk
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
