Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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