I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
