I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
