I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
