Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
