tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
